It Was Sort of Easy Being Green
by Dirty Curtains
Summary: Canon Divergence where Zelena never died. Regina and Robin's relationship seen through Zelena's eyes. Set post Kansas(or 3B depending on how you look at the canon divergence). Crack!


**A/N: I don't own Once Upon a Time obviously...if I did Zelena wouldn't be dead.**

* * *

**It Was Sort of Easy Being Green**

_**I.** **Driving**_

"Robin…slow down…I said—_Robin slow down!" _Regina's hand clutches tightly onto what Zelena has come to recognize as the 'oh-shit' handle. She cackles, because Robin really does suck at driving, but her laugh is cut short when her head jerks forward, hitting the back of her sister's chair.

"Ow!" she shouts, even though it didn't actually hurt.

"Regina, I am _trying _to learn but I can't with your constant—"

"Constant what?" she asks, and Zelena watches with growing interest in the back seat cause Robin done fucked up. A wicked grin crosses her face just as Regina's frown deepens.

"I just mean that…I um," he pauses, swallowing in hard. "Um, isn't it Zelena's turn?"

At that, Zelena stiffens. She wants to learn how to drive, she really does. Both her and Robin have only lived in this world for six months and are quickly learning about the perks of personal transportation.

Both of them had to beg Regina, together and finally she gave in but once she was faced with the mobile beast her tune changed. She could tell Robin was frightened as well, but he wanted to look good so he went first…now it's her turn though and she hasn't the slightest idea of what to do.

Regina and Robin both look at her from the front seats, expecting her to speak up and finally she does. "Sure…I mean, I can't be any worse than Robin." The smirk she gives is only to hide her fear of taking over the black beast known as 'Mercedes' in this world.

Robin rolls his eyes but opens the car door so they can switch positions. Within minutes she's sitting next to her little sister, clutching the steering wheel tightly.

She figures the worst she can do is accidentally kill them all but considering she actually wanted to do that only a six months ago…it's not that bad of a worst.

"Alright Zelena…you watched Robin. You remember how to start right?" Regina asks calmly while looking over.

She nods, "I put my foot on the big petal before starting and then take the car out of P and into D."

"It's Park and Drive Zelena…"

"What's the N stand for?" Robin suddenly asks from the back seat, "Does it mean no?"

Zelena scoffs at the idiotic comment, "No you fool, clearly it means 'not', as in not in park or drive." Zelena has slowly come to love her sister but sometimes Robin get's on her last nerve.

He always get's so mad just because of that one time she had Rumple come and attack him, putting his sons life at stake. Honestly…it _was_ only one time though and she thinks he needs to just get the fuck over it. She rolls her eyes at the memory.

"Actually, you're both wrong. It means neutral…"

Making the mistake of looking in the rearview mirror, she see's a cocky smirk on Robin's lips and can't help but sneer.

"Okay…whatever. So I put the car in drive and then slowly release the break petal."

"Yes," Regina answers with a smile and she feels a warm sensation in her belly knowing that Regina seems proud. It's been a lot of work to earn her sisters trust, but it's been worth it—having family is…nice.

She follows her own instructions of starting the car and putting it and drive, and they slowly lull down the road. _Easy_, she thinks to her self and doesn't understand how Robin managed to fuck up so badly.

"Robin? Hey…" she says with her eyes looking back to meet his in the rear view mirror, "you suck at this and I'm better." As she laughs at his scowl she feels hands surge toward hers on the stirring wheel and then: crash.

"_Zelena?"_Regina screeches into her ear, and she looks up to notice the car was stopped by a telephone poll.

_Fuck…_she thinks to herself, looking down and then looking up to meet her sisters searing eyes. "I'm…sorry?"

"_Get out of my car!"_ Regina shouts, and she's surprised fireballs aren't coming out of her palms.

She doesn't need to be told twice and immediately leaves the front seat. She hears both the back door and passenger door open as well, watching as Robin and Regina go to the hood of the car o inspect the damage.

The sound of a deep chuckle causes Zelena to look up with disdain, _fucking Robin._

Suddenly though, he's being slapped by Regina on the side of the head, evoking a laugh from her but it's cut off by Regina's sharp glare.

"I'm tired of this!" Regina shouts at both of them, and it makes Zelena feel sad that her sister is upset. It makes her miss the days when she was hell bent on destroying her, less feelings. "I love both of you but this animosity between you two has got to end!"

Zelena's gaze flits to Robin who is watching her, mouth slightly ajar. Then Regina turns to face him, confusion and fear both playing on her face.

"You…love me?" he asks, making Zelena feel an odd warmth surge throughout her while looking at Robin's face. It's so caring and kind…

She watches as her little sister nervously bites her lower lip before saying, "I do…"

"I love you too."

Oh god, she can feel tears prickling on her eyes because he loves her and she's happy for Regina. She is genuinely happy for someone else; it's a new feeling but wonderful.

Even if Robin isn't her most favorite person on earth, she can't hate him because of the joy he brings Regina.

She watches their embrace with a smile on her face, but as soon as it ends Regina turns to face her.

"Are you…crying?" her sister asks, concern evident in her tone.

She nods silently, "I'm just so happy for you two," and with that she's sobbing mess.

* * *

_**II. Cooking**_

There is smoke filling the kitchen and the stove is ruined from the fire. Oh…and Regina is absolutely fuming.

She gives Robin a nervous glance and is met with the same one in return.

"How the _hell_ did you two manage to burn down my kitchen?!"

Robin clears his throat, "We…um, were trying to make you dinner."

"And what part of that plan ended up with my stove on fire and the microwave busted?" Her dark brown eyes fix on Robin for a moment and she feels kinda bad until her sister turns to face her. "Hmm Zelena? Care to explain?"

They stare at each other in silence, Regina awaiting and answer and Zelena trying to figure out what to say. What Robin said was true; they were just trying to cook. Henry and Roland were with Emma for the night (because Roland insisted he go with Henry) so Robin thought it would be nice to plan a romantic dinner.

Robin hadn't the slightest clue where to start though and asked Zelena for help. Well, a fork in the microwave and too much grease on the stove later…they were met with fire and destruction. Luckily Regina got home in time to magic the flames away.

And now they were here…having an awkward stare down.

After taking in one deep breath, Zelena musters up her courage and says, "You know…I came down here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now."

"Of course you're getting attacked!" Zelena flinches at her sister's harsh tone but tries to remain confident. "Why would you think this was a good idea?"

"It wasn't my idea! I was just trying to be a good person…I guess no good deed goes unpunished here!"

"_You burnt down half of my kitchen!"_

"And you're killing my vibe!"

Regina brings her thumb and forefinger to rest at the bridge of her nose as she grits out, "I swear I'm going to ban Henry from showing you rap videos…"

"Whatever, you know what sis? I don't need this. I'm too real to have to deal with this, if you need me I'll be in my room." She turns on her heel to walk to her room, not sparing a second glance.

From behind she hears a shouted out, "You're room in _my_ house!"

Still, she ignores it.

She ignores it until it's hours later and she actually feels kind of bad…like maybe she should apologize. Regina looked really mad and it wasn't completely right of her to let Robin take _all_ the blame.

Zelena mourns the days when she didn't want anyone to be happy, there were less feelings involved then.

With a sigh she prepares herself to apologize, slowly walking over to Regina and Robin's room. Then, she opens it to see—

"Oh shit…" she says because Regina is naked, back facing her, and moaning. She should have known to knock or…something. The last thing she ever needed to see was her sister riding Robin Hood like a bull wrangler.

Quickly she exits, praising the higher powers that they didn't notice her. With a small smile, Zelena walks down stairs though to write a note.

_Regina,_

_I wanted to apologize for your kitchen and if I still had magic I assure you that it would be fixed. I **would** apologize to Robin for letting him take the blame, but it seems he owes me thanks considering the way you were riding him._

_Much love, Zelena_

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_**III. Asking For a Friend**_

Zelena watches from the dinner table as Robin goes behind Regina, hugging her at the waist. They really are a lovely couple…the whole scene is quite nice actually.

Henry is talking about some weird television show and she's pretending to listen…she loves her nephew but the kid rambles about the strangest shit sometimes. She figures she owes it to him to at least seem like she cares though…considering that time she tried to kill him.

He's surprisingly forgiving about it and even though she's not allowed to be alone with him because Emma still thinks she's an, "un-ripened nut job."

Henry often teaches her, Robin, and Roland about the modern day appliances of this world, her favorite being the washing machine. At first it was an odd, evil beast, but after she got used to it…

"So the shark comes out of this tornado and then—" Henry's cut off by Robin entering the kitchen, clearing his throat and looking at them awkwardly.

"Um…Zelena, can I talk to you?" he asks, and she weighs her options briefly. It's either talk to Robin about shit she doesn't care about or listen to Henry talk about shit she doesn't care about.

"I'm discussing the ethics of sharks with Henry, I'm truly busy sorry," she answers with an insincere frown.

He huffs before saying; "It's really important…" his head turns to look at where Regina is cleaning dishes before muttering out, "I need to discuss um…unions." Zelena blinks but makes no moves to speak because who the fuck cares about unions? Then he says, "Um…_rocks_ and such..."

"I honestly do not care about your weird forest rocks Robin."

He grits his teeth and she watches as his face glows in frustration. "You know…I was just talking to Henry the other day about how I love the movie the _Wedding_ Singer."

"No you weren't?" Henry butts in, and Roland chuckles randomly from the side.

"Henry and me played piggy back yesterday!" he exclaims, causing Zelena to shoot him a small smile. He's a weird little shit, but very cute.

With a long sigh, Zelena breaths out, "I hate Adam Sandler…he is literally my least favorite person on Earth, and I've tried to kill like half of this town so that's saying something. I don't understand what you're getting at here."

Robin nearly stomps his foot like a petulant child before digging through his pockets and bringing out a small box and, _Oh!_

"Shit!" she say's and then winces as Roland repeats it very animatedly.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" He screams the word happily, bouncing up and down giddily.

"Roland?!"

They all turn to see Regina's wide eyed expression, but before the brunette can yell at her she says, "Hey sis, if you could take care of that while I chat with Robin that'd be great," and with that Zelena and Robin make there way out into the living room where they can be alone.

"You're proposing?!" she whispers excitedly, attempting not to jump up and down with her excitement.

"Well that's the plan, but I don't want to do it completely blind which is why I wanted to talk to you…"

"About what?"

He chews on his lip for a moment before saying, "Can you find out if she'd say yes? Like through sister bonding time or something?"

Mulling it over for a moment, she looks up with a bright smile, "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes."

"Okay…but be subtle about it."

Zelena's mouth hinges open for a moment, offended that he wouldn't trust her with such a simple task, "I almost got away with ruining an entire towns lives I think I can do this."

* * *

"Oh my god, Regina…Robin told me he was gonna ask to marry you." Zelena says with a wide grin just before knocking back her fifth shot that night. She expects to see excitement mirrored in her sister's eyes but only finds blind terror.

"What?" Regina mumbles, nibbling down gently on her lower lip.

"I mean—that's what I wanted to talk to you about. He wanted me to do some operational stuff to make sure you'd say yes."

"I…he's going to—" Regina takes in one thick swallow before knocking back her own shot. "I can't get married again!"

"What the fuck? Of course you can!"

"No…you don't understand Zelena, the last marriage I had was—"

"To an old crusty guy who tried to bang our mother," both of there faces scrunch into distaste. "But this is different. Robin is hot! Hell, I thought about screwing him at one point just to piss you off during our time in the Enchanted Forest."

Regina sighs for a moment before saying, "He does have a nice ass…"

Zelena nods, "Yeah…and dimples."

"Oh god…and there is this thing he does with his hands when he's in the middle of fuc—"

"Woah there Kim Kardashian! I don't need to know all those details…I'm still scarred from the show I got a few months ago."

Regina's cheeks tinge a dark red as she clears her throat awkwardly, "Right…"

"So, you game?"

With a brilliant smile, Regina nods and says, "Yes Zelena…I'm game."

* * *

_**IV. The Wedding**_

"Im da rind bear, grrrrrr!" Roland shouts out next to Zelena and she smirks, because he's just such a weird little shit.

"Ring bearer sweetie," Regina corrects lovingly as she caresses his face.

"No! Papa is a forest bear and I'm a bear!"

Regina only chuckles at him, and Zelena can't help but be enamored with the scene. Her little sister sitting on a chair, hair done, make-up applied and wearing a truly stunning gown.

She looks beautiful…

A knock on the door cuts off her concentration and soon Snow and Emma are walking in, the other members of the bridal party. She, of course, is the maid of honor and they're just the bride's maids.

Zelena smirks, remembering how sad Snow was when she found out she wasn't going to be maid of honor…_as if._

"You look beautiful Regina!" Snow exclaims with a wide smile and Zelena can see the tears gathering in the woman's eyes and rolls her own at the show of emotion.

"Yeah…you really look great Regina," Emma then adds in with an awkward smile. "But, Robin wants to know if he can see Roland and Henry is going to be coming in here soon."

"Okay," Regina says with a soft smile, glancing down at the happy little boy. "Roland are you ready to go say hi to papa bear?"

"Yeah! He can be a ring bear too!"

"No, he's going to be my husband."

Roland's nose scrunches as his brow furrows, "What bout' Henry?"

As if on cue, Henry walks in saying, "Well, I'm kind of going to be too busy giving mom away to be a bear but maybe next time?"

Her sister's dark brown eyes twinkle as they set in on Henry, "That you are my little prince."

And oh god…she's not gonna fucking cry. Nope, nope…but as she looks over to Snow freaking White, the woman is practically bursting into tears and even Emma is tearing up, then she loses it. A low sob escapes Zelena's throat and soon everyone is looking at her.

"Zelena," Regina starts off with concern in her voice, "are you okay?"

"No! Don't ask me if I'm okay…two years ago I came here trying to ruin your life and now I love you so much and this is just so fucking beautiful and I miss the days when I hated you!" The words pull out of her throat as her mascara begins to run, but she can't help it. She loves her sister and there is family and god…

Before she can comprehend anything Regina is bringing her into a hug, which is weird because they don't hug. Neither of them are huggers—but she accepts it. Then she feels Regina laughing into her neck before pulling away.

Tears glimmer in dark orbs, which only makes her want to cry more god dammit…"Regina, I swear to fucking god if you start crying and ruin the make up I spent an hour applying I will curse you again."

Sniffling in, Regina chuckles out a low, "Watch it greenie."

At that everyone in the room burst into fits of joyful laughter.

That is until the sound of Roland yelling, "Fucking!" echoes throughout the room, causing Regina to throw a harsh glare at Zelena.

"Oops."

* * *

As Zelena watches the "I do's" she can't help but wonder what if things had been different?

What if she _had_ been killed by Rumple that night instead of being saved by her sister?

What if her time travel _had_ worked and something awful happened…like say, someone bringing back Robin's dead wife by accident.

All the ludicrous and idiotic ideas fleet through her mind though, and she has to laugh at the ridiculousness of it.

None of that stupid shit happened and she's happy with her sister, her now brother-in-law, and her two weird ass little nephews.

They're all happy.

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**Endnote: Thank you for reading!**


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